My Husband Won’t Eat His Wife’s Jamaican Food |
DEAR HARRIETTE: I am from Jamaica, and my husband is American. Due to my upbringing, I only really know how to cook Jamaican; I’m not good at cooking anything else. My husband doesn’t like the food I cook. I would describe him as having a limited palate. He only likes traditional American cuisine. I think it’s slightly offensive that he can’t even be bothered by the foods that I grew up eating. My cooking represents so much who I am and my culture, but I can’t force him to eat anything. Should I try to learn to cook the foods he likes? Or should he try to get used to eating what I’m cooking? – Jamaican woman
Dear jamaican wife: In the best of all possible worlds, the two of you will settle down and agree to learn each other’s cooking. There is something about you that attracted you to your husband, and vice versa. Culture must be at the heart of it, and that includes food.
While your husband may want to use traditional American cuisine as a fallback food, he may be able to like some of your specialties. Talk about it and come up with a strategy you both enjoy. For example, you can take a classic American cooking class together where you both learn to prepare particular dishes and agree to prepare them together at home. Likewise, see if you can teach him some of your Jamaican dishes, so that he can gain an appreciation for the mixture of spices and textures in your food.
Ultimately, a combination of your two cuisines can become the food you eat at home.
DEAR HARRIETTE: It’s been months since my friend and I had a huge argument. We figured it out, but now I realize that I didn’t get it all out of my chest. I would really prefer it all come out now. Is it worth revisiting the issue with my friend even though things were apparently resolved? – Revisit
DEAR REVISITED: Think long and hard about this relaunch of your argument before going there. What result do you hope to achieve by opening old wounds? How can you solve the problem without simply stoking the embers of a conflict that happened months ago?
If you can find a productive way to approach this situation, go for it. But while it’s likely that everything you say will only spark a new argument with no real resolution, it’s not worth it. You may need to decide if the friendship is worth forgiving this moment and moving on without a full resolution.
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